By Lisa White
The Brillion News
The following is the first column by Lisa White for The Brillion News. It was printed in the Feb. 13, 2020 edition of The Brillion News.
“Mom where’s my school bag!?!” This wasn’t something said as we were leaving the house in the morning before school, it was said as my daughter stood outside the car after I dropped her off. Kids forget things – we know this and let things slide – because, they are learning after all. I mean, one of the biggest parts of our job as parents is to teach responsibility! But what happens when the mom is the one always forgetting? Does it mean I’m irresponsible? That I am failing as a parent? Is there something wrong with me?
Friends let me tell you - I am that parent. The teachers know. My kids know, and my husband definitely knows that I ‘forget’ everything. It’s not something I can hide, it is me, who I am, and I certainly have some good material to make my friends laugh about all of my mishaps.
But really, I don’t think ‘forgetfulness’ is the right word for this. We have it tough moms, we really do. Some of us stay at home with the kids (y’all are rockstars in my opinion) and some of us work outside the home (ladies you are just as amazing). But any way you dice it – being a mom with small children is tough. And remembering everything and keeping all the balls in the air is even tougher.
I was brought up to believe that women were the keepers of the home. They cooked, cleaned, did laundry and raised the babies. They made sure their husband was taken care of, that everyone is happy and that you have a smooth-running operation. Then I got a little older and society shifted a bit– I still felt that I needed to do those things, but as a woman, I am also smart, talented, skilled and capable – I wanted to share this with the world, I want to be successful – so I am going to have a career and be a mom. A decision I will never regret – but man I would have some advice for 20 something me if I could only go back.
If you are an actual superhero – with a cape – seriously; you’ve got this, no problem. But superheroes we are not, and I definitely don’t own a cape, nor do I have any sort of special power – other than forgetting to bring cookies for that social...again.
What we as moms, wives and employees need to realize is we are doing the best we can, raising our kids the best way we know how – organic or not, vegan or meat, timeouts or taking things away, full time mom and employee or stay-at-home mom keeping it together on the daily – we are doing it every day.
It isn’t forgetfulness mommas – it is fullness. Our lives are full of work, homework, giving rides, remembering to fill out that permission slip, and those oh-its-9pm-I-need-24-cupcakes-tomorrows, making time for our friends, having dates with our husbands because we need to keep that spark alive and being sure we get out for a walk once in a while so we don’t sound like we are dying walking up the steps. But mostly ladies, our lives are filled with love.
We do it all. And we do it well. Let me say this again –you do it all and you do it well. You don’t ask for a thank you or for anything really. But I am telling you now you are amazing. Let’s make a pact today to not only be kind to each other, but also to ourselves. There is no such thing as perfect. Glass of wine (or 5) at the end of a long day? Use the big glass. Grabbing dinner with a good friend once a month? Go for it. Having a bath and locking the door for an hour of peace? You do you momma. Because, I am telling you that mountain of laundry will still be there, but these years will not. Let it go and live! So, what if you forgot to make the cookies? Or if Susie down the block is always prepared. Because friends, I assure you, she just realized she forgot to pack her son’s lunch today.